Being served with a temporary restraining order (TRO) can be one of the most shocking and confusing experiences of your life. Your first instincts may be to contact the person who filed against you, explain your side of the story, or attempt to resolve the situation directly. However, these natural reactions can lead to serious legal consequences, including arrest, additional criminal charges, and a permanent restraining order that could affect you for years to come.
Understanding what NOT to do when served with a restraining order is just as important as knowing your legal rights. Even seemingly innocent actions can be twisted into violations that result in immediate arrest and prosecution. This guide will help you navigate this challenging situation while protecting your legal interests and avoiding costly mistakes.
Understanding Temporary Restraining Orders in New Jersey
A temporary restraining order is an emergency court order designed to provide immediate protection to someone who claims they are in danger of domestic violence. Under New Jersey’s Prevention of Domestic Violence Act, these orders can be issued quickly, often without the accused person being present or having an opportunity to tell their side of the story.
The TRO typically includes specific provisions that you must follow immediately upon being served. These may include staying away from the protected person, their home, workplace, or school, surrendering firearms, and having no contact whatsoever. The order remains in effect until a final restraining order hearing, which must be scheduled within 10 days of the TRO being issued.
Critical Mistake #1: Making Any Contact with the Protected Person
Don’t Call, Text, or Message Them – Even If They Contact You First
The most dangerous mistake you can make after being served with a TRO is attempting any form of contact with the protected person. This includes phone calls, text messages, emails, social media messages, or any other form of communication. Many people make the critical error of thinking they can “explain” the situation or apologize for what happened.
Even if the protected person calls or texts you first, you must NOT respond. This is perhaps the most counterintuitive aspect of restraining orders that leads to countless violations. The protected person is generally allowed to contact you without violating the order, but if you respond in any way, YOU will be the one facing criminal charges for violation.
If you’ve been served with a restraining order in NJ, the safest approach is to save any communications from the protected person without responding and immediately contact a restraining order violation lawyer for guidance on how to handle the situation.
Don’t Use Third Parties to Communicate
Another common mistake is asking friends, family members, or mutual acquaintances to relay messages to the protected person. This constitutes indirect contact and violates the restraining order just as surely as direct communication. Courts view third-party contact as an attempt to circumvent the order’s protections.
Don’t ask anyone to:
- Deliver messages or apologies
- Check on the protected person’s wellbeing
- Negotiate on your behalf
- Convince them to drop the restraining order
- Gather information about their activities or state of mind
Critical Mistake #2: Going to Prohibited Locations
Stay Away from Their Home, Work, and Other Protected Areas
Temporary restraining orders typically include specific locations where you’re prohibited from going. These commonly include the protected person’s residence, workplace, school, and other places they regularly frequent. Some orders may include broad language about staying away from places where the protected person “may be found.”
Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can:
- Drive by their house to see if they’re home
- Go to their workplace to retrieve personal belongings
- Attend the same social events or establishments
- Visit mutual friends or family members if the protected person might be there
If you need to retrieve personal belongings from a shared residence, contact a New Jersey restraining order attorney who can help arrange a supervised visit through the court or police department.
Be Careful About Coincidental Encounters
If you accidentally encounter the protected person in public, do not approach them or attempt to speak with them. Immediately leave the area if possible. If you cannot leave (such as being in a checkout line), avoid eye contact and do not acknowledge their presence. Document the encounter with a TRO defense lawyer in Essex County to protect yourself from false violation allegations.
Critical Mistake #3: Social Media and Online Activity
Don’t Post About the Protected Person or the Case
Social media activity can be particularly dangerous when you’re subject to a restraining order. Avoid posting anything about:
- The protected person
- The restraining order proceedings
- Your feelings about the situation
- Photos or content that could be interpreted as threatening or harassing
Courts increasingly view social media posts as forms of communication or harassment. Even posts that don’t directly mention the protected person can be problematic if they could reasonably be interpreted as directed toward them.
Don’t View Their Social Media Profiles
Resist the urge to check the protected person’s social media accounts. Some courts have found that repeatedly viewing someone’s social media profiles can constitute stalking or harassment, especially if the platform notifies users of profile views.
Additionally, if you discover the protected person is posting about you or the case, don’t respond or react. Instead, document this information with your domestic violence defense attorney in New Jersey who can advise you on how to use it in your defense.
Critical Mistake #4: Trying to Have the Order Dropped
Don’t Ask the Protected Person to Dismiss the Order
Many people mistakenly believe that if they can convince the protected person to withdraw their complaint, the restraining order will automatically be dismissed. This is not how the system works in New Jersey. Once a TRO is issued, it becomes a matter between you and the court, not between you and the protected person.
Attempting to convince the protected person to drop the order can result in:
- Additional charges for violating the no-contact provisions
- Witness tampering or obstruction of justice charges
- Evidence of ongoing harassment or intimidation
- A stronger case for a permanent restraining order
Don’t Ignore the Final Hearing
Some people make the mistake of thinking that if they ignore the final restraining order hearing, the temporary order will simply expire. This is dangerously incorrect. If you fail to appear at the final hearing, the court will likely issue a permanent restraining order by default, which can last indefinitely and have serious long-term consequences.
Contact a restraining order hearing lawyer immediately to prepare for this crucial hearing where you can contest the allegations and present your defense.
Critical Mistake #5: Not Taking the Order Seriously
Don’t Assume It’s Just a Piece of Paper
Some people minimize the importance of a restraining order, viewing it as merely a civil matter or a “piece of paper.” This attitude can lead to serious legal consequences. Violating a restraining order is a criminal offense in New Jersey, punishable by up to 18 months in jail and substantial fines.
Additionally, restraining order violations can:
- Result in immediate arrest
- Lead to additional criminal charges
- Strengthen the case for a permanent order
- Impact child custody and visitation rights
- Affect employment and professional licenses
- Limit housing options
Don’t Delay in Getting Legal Help
Time is critical when dealing with restraining orders. The final hearing is typically scheduled within 10 days of the TRO being issued, giving you limited time to prepare your defense. An experienced Essex County restraining order lawyer can help you understand the allegations, gather evidence, and prepare a strong defense strategy.
Critical Mistake #6: Discussing the Case Inappropriately
Don’t Talk to Police Without an Attorney
If police contact you regarding the restraining order or any related incidents, politely exercise your right to remain silent and request an attorney. Many people make incriminating statements while trying to explain their side of the story or prove their innocence.
Remember that anything you say can be used against you in both the restraining order proceedings and any related criminal cases. A criminal defense lawyer in New Jersey can protect your rights during any police interactions.
Be Careful Who You Discuss the Case With
While it’s natural to want to talk to friends and family about your situation, be cautious about what you share and with whom. These conversations could potentially be used against you if these individuals are called as witnesses. Additionally, discussing the case publicly could be viewed as attempting to influence potential witnesses or intimidate the protected person.
Critical Mistake #7: Handling Shared Responsibilities Improperly
Don’t Violate the Order for Child-Related Matters
If you share children with the protected person, the restraining order may include provisions for child custody and visitation. Don’t attempt to see your children outside of court-approved arrangements, even if you believe the protected person is preventing lawful visitation.
Instead, work with a family court lawyer in Essex County to address custody and visitation issues through proper legal channels. Document any violations of custody orders by the protected person, but don’t take matters into your own hands.
Don’t Handle Financial Matters Directly
If you share financial responsibilities like joint bank accounts, mortgages, or child support, don’t attempt to handle these matters by contacting the protected person directly. Work through attorneys or the court system to address these issues while the restraining order is in effect.
What You SHOULD Do Instead
Immediate Steps to Take
- Read the order carefully and understand all its provisions
- Comply immediately with all requirements, including surrendering firearms if required
- Contact an experienced attorney who specializes in restraining order defense
- Document everything related to the case and your compliance with the order
- Prepare for the final hearing with your attorney’s guidance
Building Your Defense
Work with your TRO violation attorney to:
- Review the allegations against you
- Gather evidence that contradicts the protected person’s claims
- Identify witnesses who can testify on your behalf
- Prepare your testimony for the final hearing
- Explore possibilities for negotiated resolution
The Importance of Professional Legal Representation
Navigating a restraining order case without experienced legal representation is extremely risky. The consequences of mistakes can be severe and long-lasting, affecting your freedom, family relationships, career, and reputation. A skilled restraining order defense attorney can help you avoid these critical mistakes while building a strong defense against the allegations.
Your attorney will ensure you understand all the order’s requirements, help you gather evidence for your defense, and represent you effectively at the final hearing. They can also coordinate with any related criminal cases to ensure your defense strategy is comprehensive and consistent.
Conclusion
When served with a temporary restraining order, your actions in the following days and weeks can determine the outcome of your case and potentially the direction of your life. By avoiding these critical mistakes and working with experienced legal counsel, you can protect your rights and work toward the best possible resolution of your case.
Remember that a temporary restraining order is not a conviction or a finding of guilt – it’s an emergency measure that you have the right to contest. With proper legal representation and careful compliance with the order’s terms, you can effectively defend against these allegations and protect your future.