My Tips as a Divorce Lawyer in New Jersey Whoâs Been Through It All

They say lawyers are trained to be objective, composed, and tough. And thatâs what I wasâuntil my own divorce unraveled me in ways I never expected. I had spent years guiding other women through their pain, offering legal advice, strategy, and logic.
But when it was my turn, none of that training could shield me from the storm.
Divorce broke me. Emotionally. Financially. Mentally. Spiritually.
But it also rebuilt me into a version of myself I never imaginedâhappier, more grounded, and fiercely wise.
And today, not only do I practice divorce law in New Jersey, but I also advocate for women like youâbecause I know what it feels like to be on both sides of the table.
Hereâs my storyâand the guidance I wish I had when I was going through it.
đŁ The Breaking Point
I had known the marriage was over for a while. We werenât fighting, but we werenât living either. We were coexisting. Like roommates in a hollow house. The day we decided to separate was quiet⌠but the days that followed were anything but.
The unraveling didnât come from a big eventâit was in the little things:
- Sitting in my car after mediation, unable to breathe
- Watching my kids try to navigate their ânew normalâ
- Realizing I no longer knew who I was without the label of âwifeâ
And yes, even as a lawyerâI felt lost.
đ§Š The Rebuilding Process
Divorce wasnât just the end of a relationship.
It was the end of routines, identity, financial security, holidays, even friendships.
I had to rebuild:
- My confidence
- My co-parenting relationship
- My finances
- My peace
And I did. Slowly. Imperfectly. Powerfully.
And now I help other women in New Jerseyâfrom Jersey City to Red Bank, from Hackensack to Edisonâdo the same.
đĄ 6 Real-Life Tips from a NJ Divorce Lawyer Whoâs Been There
These arenât your typical legal strategies. These are soul survival tools I personally relied onâand now share with every woman who walks through my (virtual) door.
1ď¸âŁ Donât Wait for It to Feel âRightâ
Thereâs no perfect moment to say, âIâm done.â
Thereâs only the moment where youâre ready to choose yourself. If you wait for the process to feel easy or obviousâyou might wait forever.
âď¸ Tip: Start with an information session. Talk to a mediator. Get the facts without committing.
2ď¸âŁ Use Online Divorce MediationâIt Saved Me
Yes, Iâm a lawyer. But when it came time for my own divorce, I chose online divorce mediation in NJ. Why?
- It kept things calm
- It gave me a voice in the process
- It allowed us to divorce without going to court
- It let me prioritize healingânot performance
You can have a divorce without an attorneyâand still protect yourself.
3ď¸âŁ Donât Make Decisions From Fear
I almost gave up assets and time with my kids just to âget it over with.â
Fear makes you want to settle quicklyâbut that can backfire long-term.
âď¸ Tip: Pause. Breathe. Use a neutral mediator to help explore options.
4ď¸âŁ Your Kids Are Watching More Than You Know
I thought I was protecting my children by hiding my tears. But when I finally allowed them to see my vulnerabilityâand modeled healthy boundariesâthey began to thrive, too.
Your children donât need you to be perfect. They need you to be authentic, stable, and softâbut strong.
5ď¸âŁ Have a Financial Plan, Even a Basic One
The hardest part wasnât emotionalâit was rebuilding financially.
Especially if youâve been the lower earner, or stepped back from your career.
âď¸ Tip: Meet with a certified divorce financial planner. Or use online tools to calculate child/spousal support. Your mediator can help.
6ď¸âŁ Youâll Rise. And One Day, Youâll Thank Yourself.
You wonât always feel broken.
One day, youâll wake up and feel the quiet calm of freedom.
One day, youâll smile and mean it.
One day, youâll help another woman walk the same path.
And youâll know you made it.
đť Your Options in NJ: You Donât Have to Do This Alone
Today, I work with women in:
- Hudson County (Jersey City, Hoboken, Union City)
- Bergen County (Hackensack, Fort Lee, Teaneck)
- Essex, Middlesex, Monmouth, and Passaic Counties
And I help them use virtual divorce mediation to:
- Avoid court entirely
- Handle the divorce from home
- Mediate with or without attorneys
- Keep it affordable (plans start at $1000)
This isnât just a serviceâitâs a support system.
đŹ Final Words From a Man Whoâs Been There
You can go through a divorce and not lose yourself.
You can file for uncontested divorce in New Jersey, even if your ex is in another state.
You can have a divorce with an agreement, skip court, and walk away with peace.
You can fall apartâand still come back whole, wise, and wildly strong.
đ Ready to Start Your Own Healing?
Whether youâre ready to file, or just thinking about it, I invite you to talk to someone whoâs been there.
đ˛ Call or Text 201-347-5858
đŹ Or visit Guaranteed Divorce Mediation to schedule your confidential consultation.
You deserve peace. You deserve clarity.
You deserve the version of yourself thatâs waiting to be rebuilt.
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